Silence Is Golden: The Six Golden Tactics
Hemingway said, "we spent two years learning."
speak
It takes sixty years to learn to shut up.
Opening can be impulsive, shut up but requires willpower to control.
What principles should be grasps so that the efficiency of silence can be achieved? Silence is golden, and sometimes silence can not only win the war, but also bring about a gradual change.
Tactics 1: listen quietly, control the impulse of speaking, and find others to act instead.
speak
Shut up is a blank blank, and the most important thing is to listen quietly.
Ke Shulin, a clinical psychologist, listens to various cases of patients every day. He can be regarded as an expert in listening, but even he thinks he needs to practise to shut up.
"Because it's so easy," he always reminded himself to drink a cup of tea before he could slow down his impulse.
The most common thing is that we only hear one or two sentences, and we have ideas in mind.
When a counselor talks too much, he becomes a caring person. When a teacher or a parent is talking about it, he becomes a obedient child who is satisfied with your need to speak.
Tactics two: first of all, share the realities of life with each other.
distance
Why is it sometimes useless to talk more? Because people who speak often blurt out that they did not put themselves in the same position.
Author Li Weiwen quotes Macarthur, the two World War Douglas MacArthur: "communication is not to increase understanding but to avoid misunderstanding."
With a few words, it is difficult for people to understand each other.
Preaching to children is like trying to teach a pig to sing. It's not only a waste of effort but also a pig's displeasure.
In his new book "film and life dialogue", take the movie "the girl of the mulberry flower" as a real life movie, for example, we need to know how to shut up when we are right, and first we have to share the same with each other, so that we can have a chance to narrow our psychological gap.
Tactics Three: nonverbal communication, a caring eye is better than a thousand words.
Whether something is unpleasant or not, is it communication? Some people insist on saying everything clearly and clearly, or they do not think that communication is counted; this is especially evident in the relationship between men and women.
But we forget that the establishment of relationships and feelings is not entirely "talk".
Each other's inner relationships include willingness to think for each other and willingness to change for the other.
As long as we get along, there will be friction, but instead of being locked up for the sake of who is right and who is wrong, it is better than a caring eye and a change of behavior to resolve disputes and repair relations.
Tactics four: think about how to say, using the way the other side can accept, the effect is better.
So, how can we judge what is the time to shut up? In the eyes of Pro Cassia Kun, the education in Taiwan is always too much.
But to shut up is not to say nothing but to say something.
The fastest way is often the slowest effect!
A lot of people are eager to communicate.
In fact, if the same sentence can be laughed out, the other party naturally has no reason to refuse.
Instead of speaking directly, it is better to think about the way the other person can accept, though slow, the effect can last for a long time.
To suppress the impulse to blurt out, to shut up can not only show a person's self cultivation, but also choose to shut up at a critical moment, consolidate his personal dominance and even become a winning strategy for reversing weaknesses.
Tactics five: silent negotiations, the key moment does not make any noise, helps to build an advantage.
In 1962, the Kennedy administration of the United States, in the background of the Cuban crisis, was shocked by thirteen days. In the early days of the crisis, Robert F. Kennedy, who served as the Minister of justice, constituted the crisis committee under the presidency. But at the very beginning, he shut up and did not preside over the meeting. He did not preside over the meeting and avoided the presence of those with decision-making power. The public might cater for or conjecture on, and dare not challenge the leaders.
It was Rob Kennedy and the Soviet Union's ambassador to the United States who had successfully negotiated the missile crisis. At last, when the talks between the two sides did not overlap, he grabbed the carry on bag and took the lead. The same closed action led to great psychological pressure on the other side. The Soviet Union Prime Minister Khrushchev (Nikita Khrushchev) announced the withdrawal of Cuban missiles in less than twenty-four hours.
Rob Kennedy's move clearly conveys the message that the United States does not hesitate to implement the solution of force. Zhang Rongfeng pointed out that the silent force of silence has worked in this negotiation. In addition to the fact that the US military has demonstrated the blockade of Cuba's strong forces, the Kennedy administration has also established numerous deeds in the pig Bay incident and many other actions.
Tactics six: blank attack and defense, silence for a favorable position, and then wait for the opportunity to fight back.
The closed door knowledge, whether it is the most basic listening, or advanced negotiation, attack and defense, is not a passive silence, but rather a practice of actively creating gaps and controlling the control of communication in one's own hands.
The highest level of silence is probably the Buddha's hidden wisdom.
Chen Ruxiu, an associate professor of radio and TV Department at the Political University, mentioned Ang Lee's "Banquet". Eventually, the father discovered the fact that his son was gay. However, the couple who faced the false marriage did not expose their old father, but gave him a silent hug before leaving, which was more than a thousand words.
Shut up at the right time, perhaps more than we thought.
Silence is not about teaching people to hold their tongue but hoping that people can think deeply and think twice before speaking.
Let's talk more about quality in our lives, and less idle words.
Let the sparks of thought shine brilliance in silence, so that the art of language can be sublimated in thinking.
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