Three Elements Of Communication (1)

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that we finally turn to ourselves.

Disguise yourself.

La La Foucault

An amiable attitude is a letter of introduction forever.

In the actual communication, Bacon's mutual recognition is one of the skills that can go directly to the mind, as well as one of the motivations for communication.

The three elements of communication are as follows:

(1) the basic problem of communication - Mindset.

(2) the basic principle of communication - Concern.

(3) the basic requirement of Communication Initiative (Initiative).

(Mindset) the basic problem of communication.

Many people think that communication is a skill of speaking, but it is wrong to say so.

A person's state of mind is not right, his mouth is like a spring, and no use, so the basic problem of communication is actually the problem of mentality.

How can we understand the state of mind?

It can be said that there are three problems in mentality.

Question 1: selfishness - care only within five Lun.

The first problem of mentality is selfishness.

One day you lost your way in the city, spread out the map, and stand there and watch it. Maybe no one will come and ask if you are lost. Do you need any help?

But I had a friend's son in New Zealand. Once in a place in Oakland, I opened a map, and in a minute, two New Zealand women came to him and asked him, "are you lost?

Do you need any help? "

This example shows that our human touch is within five Lun, and no more than five Lun.

What is the five Lun?

In Chinese culture, Wu Lun refers to respecting parents, caring for brothers and sisters, courtesy of couples, loyalty and tolerance to friends, and seeking common ground.

This five Lun is close to far, and each "Lun" is coordinated and orderly (the meaning of "Lun" is order).

Question 2: self - other people's problems have nothing to do with me.

Other people's problems have nothing to do with me. This is called self.

In our lives, there are so many people who smoke. When smokers smoke, they aim at the wall first to see if they write "please do not smoke".

It is of course not forgivable to write "no smoking" on the wall but pretend not to see it.

The most interesting thing is that when he did not write on the wall, he assured himself that he would light up smoking.

In fact, whether to smoke is not to see whether there is a "no smoking" warning on the wall. The important thing is to see if there is anyone next to you. As long as you are sure that all the people next to you are smoking, including you, then you will suck together, but when the people next to you are mostly non-smokers, if you can not smoke, it is not self.

Many men like to smoke in restaurants. In fact, they never smoke in a restaurant.

You should not smoke at this time.

When the company meets, the general manager smokes a little, which one dare say he can not smoke, but most of the women in the company do not smoke.

At this point, the question arises: why do we have to smoke in front of female colleagues?

Why do you have to go home to smoke and let your wife and children smoke your secondhand smoke?

Someone might reply, "it's impossible. If she marries me, it will be unlucky, or will my children dare not smoke my second-hand smoke?"

Have the ability to go out!

In fact, this is wrong.

Perhaps you do not think this mentality is actually a kind of self.

Question 3: arrogance - my idea is the answer.

On a business trip, one of my subordinates had acute enteritis.

When I took him to the hospital, my subordinates said to the doctor, "doctor, do you think it is necessary to suspend the brine?"

I didn't expect the doctor's reply to be very easy. "Is it not easy to want to put salt water in it?"

As a result, my subordinate hangs salt water.

What do you think happened in the back?

When my subordinates went to the pharmacy to take medicine, they got a basket, which contained twelve bottles of brine, and then went back to ask the doctor, "doctor, do you want to hang so much salt water?"

The doctor said, "don't you like hanging salt water?"

He said this to the doctor. He would be very sick of that. He thought you were a doctor or am I a doctor?

In fact, such an idea and practice is arrogant.

In interpersonal communication, arrogance will appear in all kinds of faces. It is like a stumbling block, causing many obstacles, making people's indiscernment insensitive, and reason can not play its normal function.

Once a person is selfish, self and arrogant, it is difficult to communicate with others. This is a typical symptom of mental disorder.

The basic principle of communication -- concern (Concern)

Dr. Neil Noddings, a famous American education expert, wrote a book "learning to care: another mode of education".

The theme of this book is "care".

In the preface, the author said, "caring and caring are the basic needs of mankind."

Care is a way of greeting and helping others. It is a sincere feeling from the heart.

Some people say that to learn to care is to learn to live and learn to live.

That's a good thing to say.

Let's look at the concept of care in communication. It involves three aspects:

1. Concerns and difficulties

Once, when I bought books in Hongkong, the book was very thick. When I got it, a clerk came over and said, "do you like this book?"

I said, "yes."

"I'll help you get the counter."

Then he helped me take the book to the counter.

It means you can empty your hands and pick up other books here.

I said, "thank you!"

After a while, I saw second books that I thought were good. He came over again and asked, "do you like this book, too?"

I said, "yes."

"I'll help you get the counter."

In this way, six or seven books were unknowingly taken.

When I went to check out, he seemed to feel that I was worried (because I was on board in Hongkong) and said, "it doesn't matter, sir. I'll help you carry it to the plane, and you can continue to buy something else."

Tell me when you want to board the plane, and I'll carry it for you. "

Actually, it was not so far from the bookstore to the entrance to the airport, but he said that he had noticed you.

If he doesn't care, he holds a book in his left hand and holds a copy in his right hand. No one will buy third books.

This is his concern for customers. He is very concerned about the situation and difficulties of customers.